Tell your jokes here

Tell your jokes here

Tell your favorite jokes here. Here's mine that isn't very good but here it goes:

Lil' Timmy returned home from his first day at school. His mom asks:
-Timmy, what did you learned today?
-I learned to write.
-Oh, what did you wrote?
-I don't know. I didn't learn to read yet.

ZOMG! a joke topic!! awesome!

-Why did the chicken cross the road?
-To get to the other side!


-A realy muscled guy walks in to a pud, he looks around, and shouts: "does any one want to fight with me?!" every one in the pub keeps quite. again the muscled guy shouts: "does any one want to fight with me?!", one man gathers his courage and stutters: "no, no one wants to fight you" then the muscled guy says: "Good, then I can drink in peace here"

geez im not very good with jokes in english
and i only know dirty ones

this is the only clean i know: "A little chicky who didnt have an ass farted and BOOM"

funny huh?

Raijugeez im not very good with jokes in english
and i only know dirty ones

this is the only clean i know: "A little chicky who didnt have an ass farted and BOOM"

funny huh?

I dont get it

I know a very cool 1

'Why is the neck of the giraffe that long?
...
...
...
...
...
Because his head is so high... hAHAA Pwnzor!11!eleven1!shift1

Nice, I got a few.. Here's one of them;

I hated going to weddings, all the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next.", It came to an end when I did the same at funerals...


.. If you don't get it - you have to read one more time!

Here are some of my best:

Two toothpicks walked on the street and they meet the needle and one toothpick says another:
-Look, it's Robocop!

There was a little red riding hood and the wolf ate her.

There were two calculators and they meet a computer:
-Look, a nerd!

Wanna hear the shortest joke?
...
I already told it to you!

The shortest joke is "Goal for Poland!"

The shortest joke is "Goal for Poland!"

rotfl... I understand that joke too much =0

Ramza

Raijugeez im not very good with jokes in english
and i only know dirty ones

this is the only clean i know: "A little chicky who didnt have an ass farted and BOOM"

funny huh?

I dont get it

I know a very cool 1

'Why is the neck of the giraffe that long?
...
...
...
...
...
Because his head is so high... hAHAA Pwnzor!11!eleven1!shift1

now it is i that dont get you

Wat do u call a wolf wearing things?
a Wear*wolf!

I remember making a joke thread and someone told me to go die...

The best joke I can think of is terrible, but it's so bad that it's funny. I remember hearing my little sister tell me it a long, long time ago:

'Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?'
No one replies.
'BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD! HAHA'

I know, it's horrible, but it made me laugh alot.

yes..makes me luagh..she sounds like me...i like thinkin about dead things..Mmmm

Best jokes are told by comedians though, prefferably the ones on 'Just for Laughs'. I remember one guy (he runs the 'Daily Show', I can't believe I forget his name) was talking about the discovery of North America, and how the Americans got all the beaches, and beautiful country land, while the Canadian ancestors decided to dig a hole in the ice and live there .

Alright, I read this joke a while ago. It's quite long so bear with it:

There was this pilot who could never arrive early at the airport. So, one day, he entered in his boss office and said:

-Good morning. Did you wanted to see me?
-Yes. You know you've been arriving late every time since you where hired. That's why you're fired! You're the worst pilot we ever had!
-But, sir, the problem is my watch, sir! It's broken! It gets delayed almost an hour!
-THEN FIX IT! and try not to get late in you're next job. BECAUSE YOU'RE FIRED ANYWAY!!!! Today what got delayed was your flight for about 2 HOURS with the pessengers inside. NOW GET OUT!!! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!!!
-Alright, sir, but you'll pay for this.

Some weeks later the ex-pilot called to the airport saying:
-Hey, boss? Remember me? It's the ex-pilot you fired 2 weeks ago for arrivin late. Just calling to say I put a bomb in the flight 542 and it's bout to boom in an hour unless you hire me again.

And the boss answered:
-DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO FIX THAT WATCH??? THE BOMB ALREADY EXPLODED AN HOUR AGO!!!!

Cold-VoiceI remember one guy (he runs the 'Daily Show', I can't believe I forget his name)\

John Stewart



and these jokes, i am assuming, can't be racist. (or dirty)