Tell your jokes here

haha i already heard that one...

Jokes

I guess this isn't really a joke...if your OK withit being dirty for you then read it as fast as you can...

I'm not a fig plucker, nor a fig plucker's son, but I'll pluck figs until the fig plucker comes.

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Magic Man

-what does youre dad do
-Hes a famues magician.
-Okay! Whats his Greatest trick?
-Cuttin people in half.
-Do you have any brohers or sister?
-Yes, a HALFbrother and a HALFsister

This joke is quite tame i no

I've heard that virus one about irish. very funny.

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Did you hear about the irish ice company that went bankrupt? the only guy who knew the recipe died.

Wanna hear a Dirty joke?
Billy rolled in the mud
____________________________
Wanna hear a clean joke?
Billy took a bath with bubbles
____________________________
Wanna hear a clean joke?
Bubbles is a guy

Almost_thereWanna hear a Dirty joke?
Billy rolled in the mud
____________________________
Wanna hear a clean joke?
Billy took a bath with bubbles
____________________________
Wanna hear a clean joke?
Bubbles is a guy

ugh...that was rude...

unpleasant to say the least.

Almost_thereWanna hear a Dirty joke?
Billy rolled in the mud
____________________________
Wanna hear a clean joke?
Billy took a bath with bubbles
____________________________
Wanna hear a clean joke?
Bubbles is a guy

That's just like the sucksid joke... Just that when it is written, it's no longer a joke because you already know what's the trick.

~Daelin

More jokes!

-Why does a blonde open a packagde of milk in the store?
because it says "open here".

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Found these one on the internet

Blonde Kidnapper

Once upon a time when a Blonde was hard up for money, she decided to kidnap a child. So the next day she goes to a nearby playground and when nobody is looking, she pulls a random kid behind a tree and says, "You're kidnapped, so be quiet and don't give me any trouble." The little boy, too startled to do anything stands there in shock. The Blonde then pulls out a note that reads:

I am a desperate Blonde hard up for money. I have kidnapped you kid and if you ever want to see him again you arrange for 5,000 dollars in non-sequencial, unmarked bills to be put next to this tree by 12:00 tonight, or else.

She hands the note to the kid and tells him to give it to his mother. The next day the Blonde finds the bag of money next to the tree. Inside the bag is a little note that reads:

Here is the money. How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?

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Blonde Cop

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer (also a blonde). The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

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Jokes For Blondes

There is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on the stairway to heaven.

God says, "There are 3,000 steps and I'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell."

So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette laughs and goes to hell.

Then on the 2,000th step God tells a joke, the redhead laughs and goes to hell.

On the 3,000th step God tells a joke, the blonde doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate.

Suddenly, she bursts out laughing. God asks, "what are you laughing about?", so she replies, "I just got the first joke!".

There are two muffins in an oven. One says to the other "gezz its getting hot in here." the other screams "ARGH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

XeridanusThere are two muffins in an oven. One says to the other "gezz its getting hot in here." the other screams "ARGH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

i didnt understand this one...whats a muffin?

a muffn is a pastry, you eat it and its kinda like bread but different. In other words, they don't talk.

a C, an E flat, and a G walk into a bar.

The bartender says, hey we don't serve minors in here.

I think the best word for muffin in english is "cubcake"
btw that muffin joke was strange, but funny

Anyway...
more jokes
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A pirate walks into a bar ...

A pirate walks into a bar with a peg leg, a parrot on his shoulder, and a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender says, "hey, you''ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It''s driving me nuts."
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3 Vampires

There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves.
The second vampire walks into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves.

The third vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of water."

The bartender says, "Why do you want a shot of water?"

The vampire pulls out a dirty tampon and says, "Tea time."
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Puzzle Pieces

Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!"
The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"

One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"
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A ham sandwich

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a cold one.
The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."